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This Review Reveals Minor Details About the Plot.

Eat, Pray, [Screw]

Mafia Mamma on IMDb
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Plot Overview

high ballBaby Kristin Balbano was brought to America by her mother to escape persecution in Italy. By twenty-one Kristin (Toni Collette) was married to a dead­beat musician Paul Dorner (Tim Daish) whom she supports with her ad exec job in L.A. working under a father-and-son WASP duo and along­side an inept Affirmative Action employee Randy (Yonv Joseph.) She's promoting pharma­ceuticals to make women pretty. Now a dowdy house­wife at forty she sends her son Domenick (Tommy Rodger) off to college in distant Oregon where he can escape her smothering influence. Mean­while, Paul is chasing skirts who pass them­selves off as “feminists” so she'll feel less threatened by their youth and beauty. She attends a women's defense class where she practices debilitating strikes to protect her sorry self (“stranger grabs boob”) from dangerous (“stranger puts a gun in your face”) advances (“stranger says you're pretty when you smile.”) Family business calls her back to Italy when her Mafia grand­father Don Giuseppe Balbano (Alessandro Bressanello) has died and named her executor.

penguin on skisboy and girltwo squirrels in a treeAt the airport on arrival she is swept off her feet by Lorenzo (Giulio Corso) whose advances she allows because, “he's not a stranger, he's gorgeous.” She accepts a temporary Donna position with the Balbano family in order to negotiate a peace with the rival Romano's whose head also makes saucy advances on her. I was watching a couple squirrels the other day, who were copulating in a tree. In their joy they rolled over putting them­selves upside down, the top one on the bottom holding onto his mate above him who was grasping the tree limb above her for dear life, all the while making whoopy. This girl's love making is like a high wire act on a slippery slope with pillow talk not covered in her defense chauvinism class.


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bark“Mafia Mamma” plots a variation on the theme of Elizabeth Gilbert's popular memoir, Eat, Pray, Love. Only here it's Eat, Pray, Sex. The food is exotic, the prayer is in Latin, and the sex is adulterous. This latter can be characterized as, (Prov. 30:20) “Such is the way of an adulterous woman; she eateth, and wipeth her mouth, and saith, I have done no wickedness.” Kristin has wet dreams about an Italian chef getting his hands all creamy in a burrutu factory, she throws up on the corpse of her would-be lover, and in a zoom meeting she's told she has a spot of pasta sauce on her cheek—it's blood. There was no need for the adulteress to go to confession, but “You left quite a mess at the villa” so “take a shower.” Adultery is invariably messy in its repercussions.

Production Values

at the library” (2023) was directed by Catherine Hardwicke. The script was from J. Michael Feldman and Debbie Jhoon, based on an original story by Amanda Sthers. It stars Toni Collette, Monica Bellucci and Sophia Nomvete. The mafia family actors include Eduardo Scarpetta, Alfonso Perugini and Francesco Masteoianni. Collette's blue ribbon performance saved this one from oblivion. Her character's factotum Bianca (Monica Bellucci) tells her, “You look like a librarian.” That was before her make­over, but there's not much can be done about her toothy grin.

MPAA rated it R for bloody violence, sexual content and language. It was filmed on location in Brac­ciano, Rome, Lazio, Italy. Runtime is 1 hour 41 minutes.

Review Conclusion w/a Christian's Recommendation

Written and directed by women playing out some kind of feminist fantasy, it's just plain stupid. Perhaps it would appeal to a niche audience, as would the movie's silly promotional ads at the agency, but I wouldn't count on it. For me it's border­line head­ache material. A conservative audience might not be offended as it does contain good features and crime is disparaged in it, but that doesn't mean they'd like it.

Movie Ratings

Action factor: Decent action scenes. Suitability For Children: Not Suitable for Children of Any Age. Special effects: Average special effects. Video Occasion: Good for Feminist Groups. Suspense: Predictable. Overall movie rating: Two stars out of five.