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This Review Reveals Minor Details About the Plot.


The Maiden Heist (2009) on IMDb

Plot Overview

PackingThe Stewart Gardner Museum in Boston prominently displays an 1875 Post French Naturalist Movement painting, Marcel de Robert's The Lonely Maiden. No greater admirer has it than museum security guard Roger Barlow (Christopher Walken) who mean­while neglects his wife Rose (Marcia Gay Harden) at home, tunes her out. He gets some unexpected bad news: “We're moving the exhibit to Copen­hagen.” Fellow security guard Charles Peterson (Morgan Freeman) is moved to tears over losing his favorite portrait Young Girl With Cats. He suggests to Roger, “We don't have to let them leave.” They enlist the aid of night janitor George McLendon (William H. Macy) who has a thing for the naked male form of The Bronze Warrior statue. They plan to “take the pieces during the move.”

These first-time thieves are not without concomitant skill sets: George has military experience from the Marines' Operation Urgent Fury in wave three of the Grenada invasion. He'll set it up like a military operation. Charles is an artist in his own right. He's to make “three perfect fakes” for substitution. Roger has the gift of blarney. He'll need it when “the whole mission is FUBARed.”


movingThey transfer the three pieces in situ to a crate labeled special collection to be trans­ported in their own van. These objets d'art correspond to a special collection of three worldly objects of desire mentioned in the Bible: (1John 2:15-17) “Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever.”

When Roger gains a new perspective on his wife, seeing her as a Lonely Maiden in her own right, he trans­fers his carnal affection to her. Thus his painting would represent “the lust of the flesh.” Charles, we soon observe, was not so much enchanted by the woman in Young Girl With Cats, but with the cats them­selves. He is a cat lover. He likes to watch them. His is “the lust of the eyes.” George, for his part, is constantly reliving his past glory days in the Marines, identifying with the warrior statue. His is “the pride of life.” He would fit right in with author Michael Connelly's description: (282)

He parked in the lot that told much about the clientele that the [Veterans Hospital] served. Mostly old, taped-up cars, live-in vans, and pickups with camper shells, all of them pasted with bumper stickers proudly proclaiming their service to their country, their specific branch of the military, fighting unit, and politics. The message was clear. It didn't matter what war was fought, coming back home was another battle altogether.

There is a natural tendency to want to hold on to the objects of our desire, though we can't do it permanently on account of our mortality. These thieves would stretch their time if they had their way, and we can relate to that.

Short of this being not a religious film per se, Rose was shown living her life on a higher plane than the men. She was the consummate house­wife. She kept a tidy house and diligently managed her house­hold accounts. She ironed clothes, used air freshener inside, and cooked for Roger his favorite brand of chicken noodle soup. She kept her­self presentable and was attentive to Roger's needs, though she was neglected. She was always a team player. She took part time work out­side the home and saved for their vacation. She received generous tips. She helped Roger with his wardrobe selection. When she felt she had to make a scene and Roger told her to go sit in the car, she obeyed. She looked just like a Christian woman on her way to heaven.

Production Values

This sublime comedy, “” (2009) was directed by Peter Hewitt. It was written by Michael LeSieur. It stars Morgan Freeman, Christopher Walken, William H. Macy, and Marcia Gay Harden. That gives us three genuine stars playing the male leads as well as the star Marcia Gay Harden playing a wife. They're winners, hands down.

“The Maiden Heist” did not have a theatrical release. because the production company Yari Film Group went out of business. It was released directly to DVD. “The Maiden Heist” quickly sold out at its opening at the Edinburgh International Film Festival.

MPAA rated it PG–13 for some strong language, nudity and brief fantasy violence. The imaginary museum invaders after the French girl's picture spoke with a German accent. The heist music played for the real thing was suitably low key.

Review Conclusion w/ Christian Recommendation

Once one accepts the premise that three ordinary joes love art enough to steal it, the film follows a certain internal logic of challenges, setbacks, and successes just as in a conventional heist caper. Its implicit silliness, though, translates into humor. As long as you're not expecting excessive derring-do you should enjoy it.

Movie Ratings

Action factor: Decent action scenes Suitability for Children: Suitable for children 13+ years with guidance. Special effects: Average special effects Video Occasion: Better than watching TV Suspense: Keeps you on the edge of your seat Overall movie rating: Four stars out of five.

Works Cited

Scripture is quoted from the King James Version. Pub. 1611, rev. 1769. Software.

Connelly, Michael. The Crossing. New York: Little, Brown and Co., 2015. Print.